Beans means?

Once upon a time lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans, he loved them but they had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that he would marry, he thought to himself, she is such a sweet and gentle thing, who will never go for this sort of thing, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. They were married shortly afterwards.

Some months later his car broke down on his way home from work and since he lived in the Country he called his wife and told her he would be late home.

On the way he passed a small Cafe, an odour of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to go, he figured that he would work off any ill effects before he got home, so he stopped at the Cafe.

Before he had left the Cafe he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he put putted and after arriving home he felt reasonably safe that he had putted his last.

His wife somewhat agitated and excited to see him explained delightedly,”Darling, I have a wonderful surprise for your dinner tonight”, she then blindfolded him and led him to a chair at the end of the dinner table, he seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to remove the blindfold until she returned. She then went to answer the phone.

Seizing the opportunity he shifted his weight to one leg and let go, it was not only loud but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his leg and vigorously fanned the air about him.

Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on, so he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a true prizewinner. Whilst keeping his ear on the conversation going on in the hall he went on like this for ten minutes until he knew the phone farewells indicated the end of his freedom.

He placed the napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it, smiling contentedly to himself and was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned apologising for taking so long.

She asked him if he had peeked and he, of course, assured her that he had not. At this point she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise. Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a happy birthday party for him.